In my earlier blogs, I talked a little about the SNAP process and how tedious it can be. Without a job, I'm ineligible for SNAP and was unable to actually go through the full process myself. My girlfriend, however, applied in September, went through a hassle finding all of her proofs and getting it to the right county office and three months later... still does not have her benefits.
I think SNAP is a wonderful program, and I am not writing this blog to rant, but to shed light on how difficult the process can be. People have the misconception that people on food benefits are using the government and the people's taxes and that they're taking the easy way out, but that's not the case. Week after week, my girlfriend went to check her mail, and each time left disappointed and wondering if her SNAP application got denied. One day, when I was in St. Cloud with her, she checked her mailbox and got a letter with a balance number for her supposed EBT card for October and November. I stared at that letter with frustration. Here is this letter with her balance, but where is the card? After a few phone calls and pestering my girlfriend to contact the county office, we figured out that the mail with the card kept getting sent back to them due to complications with her mail box where the mail person was unable to close it resulting to it getting sent back. Each time they got it back they would send it again to the same address. This usually takes 7-10 business days. Every time I think about this I get so heated. Almost every day when I asked her the usual check-up questions that couples ask each other, and I ask her what she's eaten, it's always something like eggs, a peanut butter sandwich, ramen, or nothing at all. For months, she's been eating this way. It makes me mad that this letter claims she would've had benefits in October to now. For two months, she could've eaten healthier. She could've been fed. She could've for once in this academic year, say that she is full. But because of a faulty mail box and bad communication, she has to live hungry yet another day. It really goes to show, the extra barriers and roadblocks there is when applying for assistance programs like SNAP. Still I feel like that the county office could've done something to prevent any more time getting delayed from her having a resource to buy food. They could've asked her for an alternative address when it got sent back the first time. They could've kept it at the county office and make it an option for her to pick it up. They could've done something than waste two months trying to send a card that for some reason keeps coming back? After annoying my girlfriend to annoy her SNAP coordinator to annoy the office that issues the cards in the Twin Cities get her the card, they said they would try to send the card in the mail once again (which would take 7 to 10 business days) and if the card got sent back (another 7 to 10 business days) they would send it to the county office (another 7 to 10 business days) where she can pick it up. So, if the card is not in her mail box by this weekend, she will be hungry till the end of December.
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One thing in this challenge that I began to notice a lot is how much people waste food. Every day in the CSU, I watch with hunger as I see someone throw away their half eaten sandwich or their partially drinken frappuccino. Drool drips down the side of my lips as tears fall from my eyes as a perfectly good half-eaten bowl of pho gets tossed in the trash.
“Don’t throw away those fries! Give them to me!” I want to scream to the student who just threw them away like my parents did with me. Who I notice the most that wastes food is the university. I’m a journalist for the campus newspaper, and I go to a lot of events. Most of them involve food. I recently went to American Indian Night, and had to stand in the back as I didn’t have a ticket. I watched sadly as people were served food. I almost cried when I saw them bring out the cheesecake decorated with beautiful fresh berries. I wanted to pretend I was a server so I could take that picture of sparkling juice and chug it down. I miss carbonation. The servers’ wondered the CSU ballroom as they carried plates of cheesecake in their hands. Towards the end when there were still tables but plenty of cheesecake some wandered aimlessly for a good 15 minutes with cheesecake in their hands and gave up and took them to the back. I wanted to yell and wave my arms, “Give them to me! I want cheesecake! I will fight you!” but I remained silent. Only people with seats could have food. What really made me want to bawl my eyes out and made me so frustrated was when the servers’ came back to pick up the “finished” dishes. I stood there in the back as I saw chicken breast after chicken breast scraped off the plate into a huge pile of wasted food. Someone didn’t even touch their food, but the server had to get rid of it anyway. I saw whole pieces of cheesecake being wasted, I saw some with only the crust eaten being thrown out. I wanted to scream, I was so livid. Someone like me would have benefited greatly from those plates of food. Part of me wondered what happened to the leftovers? What happened to the dishes of food in the back? Most likely, they threw it away. This is not the only event where things like this happen. Even during Queer Prom, an event I helped host. After filling as much hummus I could in a container and taking a tray full of pita chips home with me, there was still a considerable amount left and wasted. If you think about it, there’s probably tons of food waste that happens daily in the dining hall. How can the school have less food waste? I really liked when after some events they leave the food out for students to take, but that is so rare. Why not do that for every event? It certainly doesn’t hurt and it could help out so many students. So why not? The school could also partner with Campus Kitchen, who could benefit from those foods as they normally rescue meals from being thrown away and repurpose them. The community could benefit from what could’ve been our food waste. I feel like a phony. What am I doing? This challenge feels like a whole entire charade. I’m literally being something that I’m not.
Even with my $25, I’m better off than most students. I didn’t have to rummage in my car for coins for a pack of ramen. I didn’t have to survive off of oats and water for a whole week. I’m better off. If anything, having $25 a week to spend on food is a blessing. What gets me the most is that this challenge is my choice. Food insecurity is usually not a choice. I am an imposter. My cravings are going crazy. As I caught up with a friend in the halls, she munched on a bag of Takis. Usually I don’t crave Taki’s as the red dust on my fingertips made me feel insanely dirty. Every time I held one in my hand, I felt like a middle school boy with red dust caked under his nails and in the dry crevices of his lips. I felt like my brother.
As I heard the crunch of the chip when my friend bit down on it, all of the sudden I craved it. I ended up sadly sitting in my room watching Hot Cheetos and Takis mukbangs on Youtube. Soon I was in an endless cycle of mukbangs and suddenly craved black bean noodles. I’ve never in my life tried black bean noodles, but boy did I want it. Was I pregnant? No, that can’t be possible, I’m gay! But how else would I explain these immense cravings. My period was two weeks ago. After questioning if I had a rare disease or was the next virgin Mary, I realized that I’m just not used to it. I’m not used to not being able to eat what I want to when I wanted to. Before, if I wanted 20 piece chicken nuggets with honey mustard, I’d get it! If I wanted a large pizza with pepperoni, I’d get it! If I wanted to buy a soft serve cone and dip it in fruity pebbles, damnit, I could do that too! All of a sudden, through this challenge, my brain could not get what it wanted right away. The lack of instant gratification made my brain go crazy as I started to lust after french fries dipped in mashed potatoes dipped in popcorn chicken dipped in mac n cheese dipped in more cheese and deep fried. Every day I found myself going through cravings. I hopelessly looked at vending machines as the snacks started to taunt me. Takis sat in the corner edge of the machine, “I know you want this, hot stuff.” “You’re the hot stuff,” as I drooled over the card reader with my face pressed against the glass. “Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!” the Pop-tarts, Takis, and Snickers bar cheered in unison. I woke up in a panic. It was just another dream about vending machines. I suddenly craved Chinese Buffet fried chicken. |
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